ATOTB: March 1986
by riakida
Summary: AU one shot set in the "A Tale of Two Brothers" world. A lie throws a family off balance. Warning: Spanking.


A/N: This one shot is AU, set in the world of _A Tale of Two Brothers_. Sirius and Regulus survived the First Wizarding War. Now they are raising Harry.

Warning: Contains spanking.

 **March 1986**

Sirius felt like his heart stopped at the sound of the explosion coming from the upper floor. Before he knew it, his feet were moving and he was flying up the stairs, taking three stairs at the same time; his heart hammering up to his throat as he stormed into the parlour "-REG? HARRY?"

Two pairs of wide eyes greeted him amid a room of utter chaos. The portraits and pictures on the wall were crooked, there were more books on the floor than on the shelves and the curtains had been ripped off the pole. The smell of smoke lay in the air.

"Are you okay? What happened?" At the sight of Regulus looking fine, Sirius dropped to his knees in front of five-year-old Harry, lifted his arms, checked him for injuries. "You hurt, pup?" He carded his fingers through Harry's thick black hair, felt around his scalp.

Harry bit his lip, shaking his head silently.

"What happened?" Sirius asked again. He got up again.

Harry risked a glance at Regulus, his expression a picture of guilt. Regulus shook his head ever so slightly, then straightened up.

"It's my fault, Siri, don't blame Harry," Regulus said.

Sirius furrowed his brows. "What?"

Regulus scratched his neck. "I uh… experimented with a spell."

Sirius felt his jaw drop to his feet. "You did _what_?! With _Harry_ present?" He took a threatening step towards his brother who visibly shrank back.

"It's not that big of a deal, really. Nothing happened..."

"Nothing happened? Nothing happened?" Sirius repeated incredulously. "With Harry present – he's a small child, for Merlin's sake, you could've killed the both of you and all you've got to say to me is _nothing happened? Have you even looked around once_?" Sirius snapped, his face reddening as he wildly gesticulated at the chaos around them. "To your room, this instant!" He growled.

Now it was Regulus' turn to look baffled. "M-me?"

"M-me," Sirius aped. "YES! YOU! AND YOU BETTER MOVE IT NOW OR I SWEAR –"

A high, soft voice spoke up, causing Sirius to pause mid-sentence. "Please don't yell at Reggie, Siri."

Sirius turned and looked at his ward, his child. "Harry?" Merlin, he'd totally forgotten him when he'd gone to rage mode.

"You're absolutely right, pup. I shouldn't have yelled. I'm sorry, little one," he said in a soothing tone. He reached out, stroked over Harry's head. "But Reggie did something really really stupid" - he cast a sharp side-glance at Regulus – "and I gotta have a talk with him about that. Please go and play for a bit, okay?"

Harry cast a worried glance at Regulus, but at the slight nod of his idol, he hesitantly complied.

As soon as the boy had closed the door behind him, Sirius started ranting again. "How could you be so irresponsible? I can't believe you! You're twenty-three bloody years old and you act like some kindergartener, _experimenting with spells_ ; I can't even –" Sirius panted – "You're _grounded_!" He decided on the spur of the moment.

"I'm _what_?!" Regulus wanted to laugh but somehow, he couldn't. "For a simple accident? Are you nuts? And anyway, you can't ground me," he added quickly. Sirius hadn't grounded him since he'd come off age and Regulus hadn't even considered it a possibility that Sirius still thought like _that_ of him, like he was still a child.

"You ought to be thankful that you're only grounded," Sirius ground out between clenched teeth. "You little moron! You could've been killed! You could've gotten Harry killed! And you call that act of utter _brainlessness a simple accident_?"

"I really think you should go and get some fresh air," Regulus stammered, intimidated now. Even after all the years, his older brother still held the authority in their family. It wasn't that obvious most of the times, but Regulus realized just then that Sirius still believed very firmly what his position in this family was and that the chain of command not only concerned Harry and Sirius but also him.

Sirius turned around halfway, then turned back, running a hand over his beard. "You better watch the way you're talking to me," he hissed. "I've got half a mind to… " he shook his head. " _To your room_ , and I don't want to see anything of you until dinner!"

That tone. It caused Regulus' stomach to turn and before either of them knew it, the younger man had scurried out of the room and towards the safety of his room.

* * *

Harry cast a worried glance at Regulus, who shoved his food from one side of his plate to the other. Regulus sat on the far end of the table, far away from his usual place next to Sirius and Harry. The silence between his favourite uncle and his godfather stretched over the entire length of the dinner table and, like a heavy cloud, cast a dark shadow over it.

Sirius, who sat next to Harry, reached for the bowl of potato salad and put another spoonful on Harry's half-eaten plate. Harry suppressed a groan. He liked potato salad, but was full already. And he still had so much left to eat. At the sight of his godfather's face, however, which was even darker than the cutting silence in the room, Harry swallowed his complain and miserably took a few bites, chewing forever and eventually forcing the food down. He dangled his feet, wishing his plate would magically vanish.

Instead of asking Sirius to reach him the breadbasket, Regulus accioed it, eliciting a hard glare from Sirius. A few moments later, he did the same thing with the bottle of wine.

"Leave it!" Sirius' voice cut through the room, causing Harry to jump and look up.

Regulus, who had been about to fill his glass up with wine, stilled, his arm hovering in the air. "What?"

Sirius pointed his fork at him. "You don't deserve any of that wine, as you've shown clearly that you can't act like a responsible adult. Now, stop playing with your food and eat what's left on your plate."

Regulus gaped at him. "No," he said after his first moment of shock had passed.

"No?"

"No," Regulus repeated, more strongly this time. "I'm an adult. I can drink wine if I want. And you can't tell me what to do!"

"So, can't I?" Sirius' voice had dropped to a dangerously low level.

Harry put his spoon down too, not being able to swallow down one more bite. Sirius and Regulus almost never fought, at least not in his presence. It scared him.

Regulus glared at his older brother. "No, you can't! I'm not a child anymore, and you're not the boss of me!"

"Yeah, you should be way too old to be so difficult on purpose, mister. You should know how to behave by now. And you should know that one doesn't play with dangerous things! However, you seem to insist on behaving like a brat. Even Harry here's acting more mature than you are!"

Regulus' glare intensified. "Leave Harry out of this," he growled. "You just needed a reason to spoil our day, didn't you? We can never have fun when you're around!"

"FUN?" Sirius slammed his hand down on the table, causing both his brother and his godson to flinch at the loud sound. "You call that fun? Is it supposed to be FUNNY that you two could've died? Was I supposed to laugh about it? Congratulate you on your stupidity?! And now you - you have the sheer nerve to speak to me like that?"

"You wanna discuss that now? With Harry present?" Regulus nodded in the direction of the small boy who had shrunk back on his chair. Harry's bottom lip was trembling and he had a hard time holding those tears that glistened in his eyes back. "Some brilliant adult you are. Scaring your godson, that's all you can do."

Sirius balled his hands into fists. He got up, the chair's legs screeching across the hardwood floor like banshees. He walked over to his brother and grabbed him by the arm, causing the younger man to grimace in discomfort. He forced Regulus out of the chair. "No, I'm not going to discuss this here. Harry, Regulus and I are going to have a serious talk now to settle this problem once and for all and in the meanwhile, I want you to finish your dinner and start getting ready for bed. If you need anything, call Kreacher. I'll be in to read you a bedtime story when I've dealt with your uncle."

Regulus tugged at his arm. "Lemme go, arsehole!"

Sirius forcefully grabbed Regulus' chin with his other hand, squeezing his cheeks together. "I swear, one more word…" His voice was low and full of unspoken threats.

Regulus' face twitched with indignation, but at a second glance at Sirius, he lowered his gaze.

Harry tearfully watched as Regulus was being dragged out of the room and up the stairs to the first floor. "Siri, wait!" He cried. He jumped out of his chair and ran after the two men as fast as his feet would carry him. As soon as he got to them, he tugged at Sirius' robes, desperately trying to get him release Regulus.

"Harry -" Sirius started to turn around in order to send the child back.

"It was my fault, it wasn't Reggie's fault! He didn't do nothing wrong!" Tears were running down the child's face as he confessed what had been weighing on his mind since the incident.

Sirius released Regulus, giving him one last condemning glare as he pointed a warning finger at him. "You stay where you are."

Then, the man crouched down in front of his godson. "What do you mean, Harry? None of this is your fault."

Crying, Harry recounted the true events that had taken part in the parlour a few hours earlier.

Sirius didn't interrupt his godson, he simply listened until Harry had finished his story. "Is that true, Regulus?" He said without turning around, eyes still on Harry.

"Please don't yell at Harry, Sirius. He didn't mean to get in trouble."

Sirius reached out and gently ran his hand along the side of Harry's face. "You were aware that you're not allowed to touch Regulus' wand or any wand for that matter. Weren't you, Harry?"

Harry nodded under tears.

Sirius cast him a sad smile. "I'm very proud that you told me the truth, pup. That was very brave, especially because I'm sure you were a bit scared that I'd be angry."

Harry nodded. "Aren't you angry?"

"No, love. I'm not angry. And I'm very sorry that you were scared. But I'm worried. We talked about touching wands before, right? Do you remember what I told you then?"

"That I'd get in trouble," the boy whispered. His big emerald eyes were pleading with his godfather.

"I told you that you weren't allowed to touch mine or Regulus' or any other's wand, for any reason. And I told you that I'd spank you if you did." Sirius spoke calmly, with a hint of sadness in his voice.

Regulus went to stand next to Harry. "I'm sure that's not necessary, Sirius. Harry already knows that it was wrong. You don't have to do that," he pleaded.

Sirius rose to his feet. "Are you full, Harry? Or still hungry?"

The boy shook his head. "Full," he managed to get past the giant lump of tears in his throat.

"Then please go up to your room. I'll be up in a minute."

The boy's lips trembled and he nodded wordlessly. He turned to head up the stairs, but Regulus' voice interrupted him. "Harry, no – Sirius, you can't spank him. He's already sorry, and a spanking on top of that - that's too much, that's... cruel!"

"Go on, Harry," Sirius said, managing to keep his voice incredibly calm.

As soon as Harry was out of sight, Sirius moved as fast as a wildcat. He grabbed his brother by his ear and twisted, hard.

The pitter-patter of Harry's little feet on the stairs was followed by the sound of the door to his room on the third floor closing. Sirius dragged his brother to the next room, which happened to be the parlour. Only there he released him. "Stay here," he ordered in a firm voice.

Regulus hissed and rubbed his reddened ear. "Sirius, listen -"

Sirius shook his head. "Your chance to explain yourself is over. I don't have to listen to anything you say. Now, you wait for me here. I'll deal with Harry first, since he's the one who got dragged into the web of lies you created and who subsequently has to have been dreading this for hours!"

"You can't spank him, Sirius! He didn't know how dangerous touching someone's wand is..."

"You're wrong, he knew. I explained it to him the last time he took my wand. He knew he'd get a spanking for this, and I made it clear that there would be no way around it if he disobeyed me again." Sirius turned towards the door.

Regulus followed him. "Wait! Come on -" his words got cut off as Sirius grabbed him once more by his already hurting ear. "Ow!"

Sirius forcefully dragged him to the nearest corner. "ENOUGH!" He bellowed, the last bit of his patience snapping. He pushed Regulus' head against the intersecting walls, causing the young man to groan as his forehead collided with the corner.

"Stay here and think about what you did. Every further word of yours only makes matters worse, for yourself, and for Harry, who is upstairs, waiting, thanks to you!" Sirius smacked the back of his brother's head, not too hard, but the smack caused Regulus' head to collide with the corner once more. This time, the young man shut up and Sirius was finally able to look after his godson.

* * *

He certainly hadn't been too hard on Harry, Sirius knew that. He'd done his best to be fair. When he entered the room, he found the boy weeping, curled up on his bed. The glasses he'd gotten earlier this year and that made him look so much like James cut into his nose and cheeks as he pressed his face into the yellow and green striped blanket. Sirius cast a silencing spell and even locked the door, something he usually didn't do, but on that day, he didn't want to take the risk of Regulus' selfishness interrupting them once more.

He sat down on the bed next to his godson and began to gently rub soothing circles on Harry's back. After Harry's sobs had ceased, Sirius sat the small boy on his lap and held him close. Only then did he begin to speak in a very calm, gentle voice. He explained how they could consider themselves very lucky that nobody had been harmed and why wands were absolutely off limits for small children's hands, all while running his fingers through his godson's unruly black hair. He told the child that he was very proud of him that he'd stepped up to him and told the truth and that lying was never a way out but only a way to make matters worse in the long run. After that, he carefully removed Harry's glasses from his face, pulled his trousers all the way down and off his feet. Then he placed the child face down over his lap.

Sirius swiftly pulled his child's briefs down as far as they needed to go, ignoring the soft whimpering that accompanied it. Then, he delivered seven memorable smacks to the small backside, creating a rosy blush and a rather good sting on the boy's hindquarters. The spanking was soon over, lasting no more than a few seconds.

Sirius gathered the crying boy up and into his arms, allowing him to cry as long as he wanted to whilst giving him all the comfort he needed. Harry's tears dried unusually fast. Sirius reckoned that he'd cried himself out earlier already, so he simply cuddled with the boy, reassuring Harry that everything was fine. When he felt that he could release him, Sirius helped him to change into his pyjamas and tucked him into bed.

Harry had to conjure up all his bravery as he said "Do I still get a story?"

Sirius smiled warmly. He summoned the book they'd started the previous evening and lay down next to his godson on the bed. He didn't even get past the point where the hero met his sidekick when the child's eyelids had become so heavy that he couldn't keep them open any longer and he slumbered away. Sirius placed a kiss on Harry's forehead that was still sweaty and a bit warm from all the earlier dither. He felt incredibly bad because of the way he'd scared his child during dinner. He loved this kid more than he could ever put in words and he silently promised himself that he'd fly with the boy the next day, extra long, to make up as good as possible for all the yelling at Reg with Harry present and for the awful mood during the afternoon.

* * *

Sirius hesitated for a very outdrawn few moments until he mustered up the energy to enter the parlour, praying that his brother had obeyed him and was still there, and less defiant than before. Praying for divine afflatus that would tell him what to say, what to do, how to fix this.

He was greeted by the sight of Regulus, who had stretched out on the sofa, his booted feet resting on the coffee table, his arms crossed comfortably behind his head. Sirius entering startled him, and he quickly put his feet on the ground and sat up straight.

Sirius cast his second silencing spell that day. "Harry's asleep," he said.

Regulus glowered at him. "It's not even his bedtime! You spanked him till he was that exhausted?"

Sirius closed his eyes, reminding himself that he had to stay calm. He loved this incorrigible twit in front of him from the bottom of his heart, but in situations like these, it was a bit hard to keep that in mind. Especially because Regulus had never learned when it was time to stop pushing. Instead, the young man in front of him was an expert on digging his own holes, and after falling into them, he'd simply continue digging.

"Cut the crap. You know better than anyone that I've never been overly hard on him, or you, for that matter. So don't you dare insinuate that I'd abuse my godson." Sirius' voice was chilling.

Regulus bit his lip. He avoided his gaze. Sirius wondered if Regulus regretted his words, or if self-preservation had finally won out. Or maybe neither, and it simply meant that his brother was at a loss of a snappish comeback. He never knew with him; Regulus was always good for a surprise, both in good and not so good ways.

"Harry understood that I was being fair to him. He didn't like it, sure, but he didn't complain." Sirius let the words hang in the air as he watched his brother carefully for any sign that'd give his true mind away. "On the contrary, he told me that he had a bad conscience since you forced him to go along with that made-up story of yours. He was glad when the facts were on the table."

"He didn't have to lie. That was all me, he said nothing at all. I simply didn't want him to get into trouble."

"He had to lie by omission. You wouldn't let him confess and as soon as the lie was out, he didn't know how to be truthful and not expose you at the same time." Sirius took a few steps towards his brother. "Harry wanted to tell the truth. He's not the kind of person who lies and lets someone else take the blame in order to get out of trouble. Instead, he had to suffer the bad mood in the house and witness us fight during dinner, believing that it was his fault. He knew that he'd confess sooner or later. And he knew that touching a wand results in a spanking for him. You made all this so much more difficult for him than it had to be."

Regulus blanched at those words. His lips moved, he searched for words. "I didn't want that," he confessed eventually, dejectedly.

"That doesn't make it undone."

Regulus tugged at the sleeve of his jumper, played with the rim that had once been a bright yellow but after years of usage had frazzled quite a lot and had faded to a flaxen colour. The old jumper was a hand-me-down from Sirius. Regulus had nicked it years ago, when he'd been around maybe sixteen, and still growing. Still, the young man seemed to prefer it to all the newer, more modern sweaters he possessed, and wore it to that day, Merlin knew why. At least he'd grown into it and it didn't look like he was wearing an over-sized potato bag any longer, although he was skinnier and smaller than Sirius had been when he'd left the garment to his brother.

"I can't believe you lied to me." Sirius didn't manage to keep the hurt and disappointment he felt out of his voice. "You deceived me."

Regulus flinched at that, anxiously staring at Sirius, blanching. Sirius knew why, and he felt a tang of relief at his brother's reaction. It meant that Reg hadn't completely forgotten the destructive power that lies had.

"Lies are what come between people. Between brothers. Lies will place create a barrier between family members, and they will destroy every trust that we have in each other. And once you allow untruths to infuse your life, they will pervade everything you stand for, everything you believe in. You know that better than anyone, or so I thought." Sirius let his words sink in. "I can't believe you lied to me," he said once more.

Regulus lowered his gaze, his chin-long hair falling into his face, hiding his eyes.

"Your lie has come between me and you. It has come between you and Harry. It even has come between me and Harry, without either of us being to blame. All that is the result of a single lie. It divides an entire family, to the core."

"I know you won't believe me but I didn't mean for it to turn out like this, Siri," Regulus confessed in a low voice. "I didn't think of how it would affect Harry. I thought you'd be angry at me but I reckoned I could deal better with that and Harry wouldn't get in trouble. I figured you'd calm down quickly, I didn't expect you to lose it like that…"

"You didn't expect me to _lose it like that_?" Sirius repeated incredulously. "You told me that you'd blown up the parlour basically for fun, totally disregarding Harry's and your own safety!"

"It was a stupid idea," Regulus admitted.

Sirius snorted. "That's putting it lightly."

He let his gaze wander. The sun was setting over London and the last rays painted the top of the room in golden hues until it disappeared only a few seconds later behind their neighbours' headstone-grey house. The parlour seemed even older and darker now.

Regulus had followed his brother's gaze. "I wish I could turn back time," he said. "I wish I hadn't done it."

"I wish that too. But wishing doesn't make it so." Sirius pulled the chair out from under their father's old escritoire and straddled it, causing it to creak as he leant forwards against the backrest.

Regulus picked up on the unsaid words. "What are we going to do now?" He seemed anxious.

Sirius ran a hand over his face, abstractedly scratching his beard. "You will repair what you destroyed. You will speak to Harry and explain what you did wrong. You will make it up to him. He'll forgive you, I'm sure. He's like that."

Children were incredibly forgiving. Their hearts were so big and their souls so pure that they could never withhold a loved one their forgiveness. Sirius was sure that Harry didn't carry a single spark of resentment for Regulus in his heart, even now.

Regulus swallowed heavily, then he spoke. "Do you forgive me too?"

With that question, a hard silence spread in the house.

Sirius looked away and stared at the beige curtains on the walls that hid the ancient family tapestry from their view. They weren't exceptionally beautiful, and the feint magnolia pattern was only a matter of conjecture from the distance. They must've belonged to James' grandparents once. He'd found them in the Potter's old house and that made them some kind of sacred.

Sirius had put them up when they'd been forced to move back to Grimmauld Place with an orphaned toddler to raise, just like he'd put a silencing spell and a curtain over his mother's portrait and all the other memorials of how dark exactly their childhood had been. Yet they were still there, hidden but there, those objects nightmares were made of. He and Reg could pretend that they didn't exist all they wanted, most of the days, but on those few days in between when the brothers were the most vulnerable, those things managed to get past the pretty barriers that were supposed to eradicate them.

"What does my forgiveness matter anyway," Sirius mused. He couldn't just hide his feelings away. His trust was broken. And no matter how many times he forgave, Reg didn't seem to care.

There had been one single time in their life when Sirius had begged for Regulus' forgiveness, when he'd truly needed it. And Regulus had given it and released him by doing so. _I'll never leave you again_. And he never would. He'd rather die than to break his promise, and he'd be grateful for his brother's forgiveness until the day he died.

And there had been only one single time when forgiving hadn't come easy for Sirius. _I swear I'll never lie again, Siri. Please._ And he had to put all his trust in his brother to achieve that.

What was the point of forgiving again?

"I never thought you'd lie to me, not after all that we've been through." The thought of what Regulus had done burned like a headache through Sirius' mind and he rubbed a hand over his forehead. "I can forgive all the disrespect, all the disobedience. You're an adult. You're right, you don't have to do what I tell you to. I can't force you. Despite me wishing so, sometimes."

He heard Regulus shift on his spot on the sofa. "No, you deserve my respect. And my obedience."

It must've been hard for Regulus to swallow his pride and say that, Sirius knew. "Respect, maybe. Obedience? No. You're an adult. Your life is your responsibility now, and you can't always obey me, or never offend me. That doesn't happen in real life. It wouldn't even be right."

Regulus shook his head. "But you always tell me to do something and when I don't, you talk about disobedience..."

"Yeah, I say that. I mean sure, I'm pissed when I have to tell you something twice or have to clean up after you, but then again, you do a lot too. I'm Harry's guardian, not you, it was my decision. And I'm grateful for your help, so grateful that I can never pay it back."

"You already did pay it back."

Sirius smiled softly. "That? That was for free. 'Cause I love you. I'd always pick raising you again over having a few more carefree teenage years. I don't regret my choice, and I'd do the exact same thing again."

Regulus bit his lip again, where his teeth had already left marks from earlier. Not too long from now and he'd draw blood. This time, though, Sirius knew that Reg did it to hold back his emotions. He was somewhat saddened by that, by them not showing their emotions as freely any longer as they once had. Sirius reckoned it'd come with growing up, becoming more of one's own person, growing independent, but also sharing less.

Sirius opened a drawer in the escritoire and pulled out a bottle of whisky, as well as two glasses. "You want one?"

Regulus shook his head.

"Well, I certainly _need_ one." Sirius poured himself a glass and downed it instantly, felt the comfortable heat enter his stomach.

"You shouldn't drink so much."

Sirius smiled again. "Do you know what else I can forgive? Treating me as the enemy. Upon my soul, I'd never want to hurt Harry. But everyone can make mistakes, and sometimes, people are not in their right mind. If you ever fear that I'll treat him like Father treated us, I won't blame you for taking him and running as fast as you can. So I forgive you that you wanted to protect him from me. It wasn't necessary, it was a mistake, but I can forgive it. Because you'd stop me before I turned into an alcoholic. I know it." He shook his head at that, laughed softly.

"What's so funny?" Regulus didn't seem amused in the least.

"It's so absurd. Today was totally absurd." Sirius stopped smiling. The pretty facade crumbled and revealed a nightmare. "I never thought..." He closed his eyes. "You promised me that you'd never lie again, Reg. It's absurd to me that you broke your promise. If you had asked me this morning about the two things that I'm sure of, that I'd trust blindly, then I would've told you that those were two truths: That I'd never leave you again, and that you'd never, ever, ever lie to me. It's like you broke everything in two." Now Sirius had difficulties to keep his emotions at bay.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Sirius saw that his words had hit his brother like a physical blow. Regulus stared at him, probably then for the first time understanding how bad this one stupid little lie had damaged the trust that Sirius put in him. Sirius didn't trust him to do what he was told, he didn't expect him to be respectful, or responsible even, but to be truthful. Just like Regulus had built their relationship around the security of _knowing_ that Sirius would never leave him, Sirius had built and rebuilt everything on the knowledge that, if he asked for the truth, Regulus would never lie to him.

"Siri," Regulus rasped. "Please don't..."

"I love you, Reggie." Sirius felt an incredible weight on his heart as he said that, a weight that was crushing him. "But I can't. I can't forgive it just like that. I wish I could."

Regulus almost fell off the sofa as he rushed towards Sirius. Incredulity glittered in his eyes as he shook his head, looking down at his older brother. "Please, a second chance, let me prove it to you -"

"You already had a second chance."

Regulus fell to his knees, a dry sob building up in his chest. Sirius, who was still straddling the chair, felt his heart break at the sight of his brother looking up at him with utter despair in his eyes. "Come on, Reg, get up, this is -"

"Please, I didn't mean to! I didn't mean it, I was so stupid, please, Siri!"

Sirius wanted to say that it was untrue, Reg was anything but stupid. But it was such a stupid lie with what Regulus had so carelessly shattered Sirius' trust like it meant nothing to him.

Sirius wanted to hug him, comfort him. He didn't because it wasn't what Reg needed. He couldn't give his little brother anything. He was just as helpless.

"You always forgave me," Reg pleaded. "When I was a kid. You'd always forgive me." Tears appeared in his eyes at that.

"As a kid, you don't know what you do."

Regulus began to shake. Tears ran down his cheeks, and Sirius' heart broke even more. "I didn't realize it," he whispered. "I didn't mean to hurt you." He leant forward, pressed his head against the backrest of the chair Sirius sat on, grabbed the chair's legs with his hands.

Sirius reached out and gently ran his fingers through his brother's hair. He silently cried with him, the twenty-six-year-old grown man that he was.

Suddenly, Regulus looked up.

"You put me in the corner," he said, his eyes locking with Sirius'. "And you grounded me!"

Sirius didn't understand. His eyebrows creased questioningly.

"Siri, it was just one small lie. I'm not saying that to play lying down in any way, I swear – but please, please, give me one more chance. If I didn't care about your trust, if I didn't care about hurting you, then I'd understand that you can't forgive me. But I care. All I ever wanted was for you to trust me. If I had known that what I did would destroy your trust in me, I would've ripped my own tongue out to stop myself from lying to you."

"Don't bloody say stuff like that… that's the stuff my nightmares are made of!" Sirius shuddered. He gave Regulus' hair a gentle tug.

"But you grounded me. And you put me in the corner. You don't do that to adults." Regulus took a deep breath, tried to calm down. He looked up, bit his lip again, like he always had. Sirius could make out the places where the skin had broken. "You told me to think about what I'd done, like I didn't already know." Regulus reached for Sirius' hand that was gently caressing his scalp in a soothing pattern. He grabbed it and held it, firmly. "That's because I didn't know. I didn't know what I was doing."

Sirius felt his heart break a third time at the hopeful expression. "I don't know, Reg. We talked about it, and I simply can't believe with the way we talked about it, that you forgot. You've been through so much, if anyone knows just how disastrous lies are, it should be you."

"You've always been wiser than me in this field. You can understand people. I don't understand them the way you do. I don't even understand myself most of the time. I've always relied on you to pull me back." Regulus gave Sirius' hand a hard squeeze, locked eyes with him. "So I beg you, brother. Pull me back. Please forgive me, Siri."

Sirius sat like this for a while, petrified. The room had darkened by then, the flaxen yellow of Regulus' jumper had turned grey and the soft twilight had yielded to the sheer endlessness of the night, with its stars so lonely and so beautiful.

"How do I pull you back?" _Tell me what to do so I can end this nightmare._

"Like you always did."

Confusion.

Then, it dawned on him. Sirius didn't know whether to laugh or to shake his head in disbelief. "Do I understand you correctly?" he asked, not believing his ears.

Regulus nodded. "Whatever is necessary. Just so that you trust me again. Make it so that you believe me when I say that I never want to lie to you again."

Sirius shook his head, a disbelieving chuckle on his lips. "Are you seriously asking for a spanking?"

Regulus grimaced. "If that's what you want."

"What I want," Sirius repeated, scoffed. "I never _wanted_ to do _that_. Not to you, not to Harry."

Regulus looked really uncomfortable now. "But I thought… earlier, you looked like you were close to…"

"What?"

"Beating my arse, I don't know. You were pretty mad." Regulus rubbed his ear.

"Does it still hurt?" Sirius asked worriedly. "Your ear?"

Regulus shook his head.

"I wouldn't have _beaten your arse_ , just so you know. Okay, the thought of giving you a good smack might've crossed my mind, but I lost my temper. It wouldn't have been right. And I'm sorry about your ear." Regulus' hand was still firmly holding his and Sirius gently put his other hand on top of them. "Disciplining you is never what I should want," Sirius said. "You know how much I hate having to spank Harry. It breaks my heart to hear him cry."

"But it fixes things."

"I don't know if it fixes things. But it establishes a balance between actions and consequences."

Regulus eyes met his. "Please, Siri," he said, again. "If it fixes things so far that you can forgive me…"

Sirius sighed, contemplated his brother. "Huh. I never thought I'd live to see this happening. Also, I didn't think this day could get any more fucked up."

Regulus blushed, hung his head. "I think now I'd like a drink."

"Not a chance, little one. You want this, you get through it the way you are now." Sirius blinked, surprised at his own words. It must've been years since he'd called his brother that.

Regulus let go of Sirius' hand. "I'm not little," he objected. He drew his wand and cast light to the room – not too much, but enough. He got up and closed the curtains.

Sirius turned around. "Do you want to do this _here_?"

Regulus shrugged. "Yeah. Here seems fine."

Sirius looked around the room. "It's not very comfy around here. You can't go to bed immediately afterwards..."

"I'm twenty-three. I'm not a child. I don't want a childish spanking."

Sirius snorted. "We'll take care of it being age-appropriate, don't worry. So what do you want? Me belting you? Get the cane? I think Father's canes must be around still."

Regulus missed the underlying bitterness in Sirius' voice. Without being told so, he started to unbutton his trousers, then, swiftly pushed them down to his feet and stepped out. He folded them neatly and put them on the armchair next to the fireplace. Meanwhile, Sirius leaned against the armrest of the sofa and watched his brother incredulously.

"Where do you want me? Over the chair?" Regulus moved to bend over the back of the chair.

Only then did Sirius realize that it would be difficult to put his brother over his knee like he used to. Regulus wasn't quite as tall as Sirius but he'd grown a lot since sixteen, and even though he was skinnier than Sirius, he'd be too heavy to balance on Sirius' knees. It mightve been manageable on the bed in Regulus' room, but not on the sofa. Its seat was not even high enough for Sirius to angle his legs in a steady way. Sirius thought quick, then positioned his butt so that he sat on the back of the sofa with his left leg angled up and the right one on the ground. "No, come here. The sofa will do."

Regulus hesitated as he stood in front of him. "You have to stand up, there's no space," he said after a while.

Sirius didn't move, he simply extended his hand towards his brother and waited for Regulus to take it.

It took him some time, but after a few moments of confusion and hesitation, Regulus simply accepted Sirius' hand. Sirius tugged his brother towards himself while with the other hand he arranged the pillows on the seat in a comfortable way for his brother to rest his arms and head on.

"Now bend over."

"Where?!" Regulus got nervous. "There's no space!"

"Over my left knee."

"Can't I bend over the sofa just like that?"

"No."

"But how is this -"

"Regulus. Get over my knee or let it be but make up your mind," Sirius said sternly.

Regulus nodded. Without any further hesitation, he bent over.

Sirius positioned him until he was sure that the both of them were as comfortable as possible, with Regulus supporting himself on the sofa's seat while his hips rested across Sirius' left thigh. It was certainly different to have a twenty-three-year-old over his knee than a sixteen-year-old. It was a lot heavier and a lot more awkward.

Sirius rolled up his sleeves and removed all his rings from his fingers. "This is gonna be harder than you think, and I'm not gonna lecture, we already covered everything. This is for breaking your promise and nothing else. You wanted an adult punishment, you'll get one. Let me just say this: This is the last time I'm doing this with you. Last chance."

"Yes, I understand."

"Remember that you're here by your own free will. You can leave whenever you want, I'm not gonna hold you down. When it gets painful, you can determine how important my trust is to you."

"Yes, Siri."

Sirius gave Regulus a gentle pat on the back. Then, he hooked his fingers into the waistband of his brother's boxers and tugged them out of the way, exposing the young man's bare buttocks. The boxers fell to the floor around Regulus' feet. The young man groaned and hid his face in his arms. Yes, this was bloody personal.

"Are we still on the same page?"

"Yes."

With that, Sirius started the punishment. He didn't start out slowly, nor was he in any way particularly considerate when it came to hitting an area two or three times in a row. He was experienced enough that he knew how to avoid bruising, but Reg would end up to have a scorching red backside, that was bloody sure.

Regulus managed to keep quiet for a surprisingly long time. When he'd still been a teenager, Reg had always been very vocal during spankings, and he'd almost always cried from the first few swats on. Which had been good in a way, because the few spankings he'd gotten had rarely been hard but had always had the desired effect.

This time there was no crying, which made Sirius wonder if Regulus was hurting at all. It wasn't until his hand started to burn in earnest and he increased the speed and laid a few wicked spanks down on Regulus' sit spots, all in the same place, that he sensed the slight hitching of breath that indicated that his brother was crying silently. Somewhat relieved, Sirius concentrated on that area more. And finally, the well-known jumps and small kicks began, the ones Regulus couldn't help. As Sirius laid a particularly hard swat on Regulus' right buttock, his brother flinched away, almost turning to his side.

Sirius' hand was on fire. It was bright, burning red and normally, he would've stopped at this point at the latest. It wasn't like he wanted to go on, his brother's tears reminding him just how much he'd always hated doing this. But this was Reg's last chance. He'd wanted it and he'd get it, and Sirius would be damned if he didn't make this punishment work this time. He'd bring them to their limits because he wanted this spanking to stand out like a big, fat exclamation mark. The circumstances weren't usual in any way, so why bother comparing it with any other time he'd punished his brother. Therefore, Sirius made a decision he'd always delayed and hoped that the need would never be there.

Silently, Sirius summoned a book and transformed it into an old worn slipper, similar to the one Mr. Potter had used on him and James. Sirius knew that James would be laughing at him for making such a big deal out of it, but up to that day, Sirius had always been convinced that if he couldn't deliver the message with his bare hand, corporal punishment was not the way to go.

As soon as the slipper slammed down on Regulus' vulnerable bottom in a steady, relentless rhythm, the young man howled loudly and – he reached back.

Sirius' right arm hovered in the air, ready to descend on the poor exposed backside in front of him, as Regulus threw his hand back to protect himself. He was sobbing loudly, babbling "Wait!" over and over in between the sobs that racked his body.

A wave of disappointment and even anger built up in Sirius' stomach. _Is this your limit? Is this as far as you would go for my forgiveness?_ Sirius lowered the slipper and waited.

Regulus twisted his other arm back as well, shifting away from Sirius' body to be able to do so. He sobbed heart-brokenly as he brought his wrists together.

"Please," he sobbed. "T-take them. C-can't hold them back, hurts!"

An even bigger wave of relief rose inside of Sirius and washed all the brewing disappointment away. "You're doing brilliantly, Reggie," he said softly as he took his brother's hands to hold in his left one, gave them a reassuring squeeze. He raised the slipper again.

This spanking won all the medals, hands-down. It was the strangest, most heart-breaking thing Sirius had ever experienced.

As soon as he was done, he drew Reg's boxers back up and gathered his crying brother in his arms. "It's over now," he whispered, barely believing his own words. He'd really done this. And Reg had gone so far to prove the authenticity of his remorse to him.

"It's all over. You've paid the price and it's over, Reggie. You're forgiven."

Reg hid his face in Sirius' shoulder. "I'm so, so s-s-orry, Siri."

"I know. It's okay."

"I p-promise I'll never, ever lie to you again!"

Sirius placed a kiss on Regulus' forehead. "I know you won't." And he did, in his heart. He was certain that Reg meant it. Reg hadn't made the promise because he was forced to, nor was it an easy promise to keep if he didn't absolutely mean it. That Regulus deemed his trust worthy to suffer for it like this caused Sirius to tear all the walls down that he'd erected around his heart during the last hours. Reg had fought hard and suffered long to be allowed to make this promise. He'd keep it, Sirius was sure of it.

"You must be the craziest kid I've ever met," Sirius mumbled into his brother's hair. They were both absolutely crazy. He felt Reg smile against his shoulder. "I love you, Reggie."

"I love you too, Siri."


End file.
